Mommy resume

Ok, here it is. After 22 years of being a stay at home wife and mother, I am ATTEMPTING to reenter the workplace. Notice I said workplace. Not the "real world". Believe me, I live in the real world. Kaye was helping me with my no experience in 22 years resume. She printed off an example from the web. This guy had a VERY impressive resume. But as I read it, I realized I had the same skills. Here are a few:

His: Founded and managed highly successful delicatessen and catering operation.

Mommy resume interpretation: Became chief cook and bottle washer on the 1st day of married bliss, upon giving birth and sending subsequent children to school immediately started making school lunches, providing classroom treats, fund raising bake sales, birthday parties, need I go on? I see all of you nodding and agreeing with me

By the way, I will abbreviate mommy resume interpretation as MRI from now on. It is not surprising to me to see the same initials as having a brain scan. Think about it.
His: Oversee and assist with all daily activities
MRI: Oh, please! It is called being a wife or mother and I have done this 24/7--365--for 22 years. Not just 8 hours a day. No, I did not dig out the calculator to figure out how much experience I have. My calculator only goes to 8 digits.
His: Hot/cold meal and salad preparation
MRI: See above mri
His: opening and closing functions and customer service
MRI: See above, again. But, I can add for the opening and closing, getting the kids and hubby up and out the door for school, work, whatever and reversely making everybody go to bed so we can do it all over again the next day. And customer service is just keeping the peace. Who does this guy think he is. He couldn't handle being in my shoes. He would want to punch out after 8 hours. Me, too.
This guy has a two page resume. I promise to keep comparing him with my mommy resume, even though mine is one very short page. But, I didn't pad mine. Didn't have the time or energy!