Monday, February 2, 2009

Dianne Wants to Call 911

Hi there everyone. This is Kaye, Dianne's sister-in-law from The Butler Diaries. I'm guest posting today, poor Dianne has made it home from her first official day of Biggest Loser/suicide Day.

She worked out this morning before work, worked out with me at lunch and then, as if she hadn't had enough torture for the day, she worked out after work with a personal trainer. The personal trainer is not like Gillian on Biggest Loser. She's annoyinglycute, irratatlinglyperky, and I bet she was a cheerleader in school. Dianne was very supportive today as I bounced around on the Eliptical Machine. When I asked if my girls were bouncing around embarrassingly, she promptly answered "No, you look fine." She's being nice, she doesn't want me to quit.

Tonight, I received two text messages from Dianne right after she had gotten home from the last suicide mission.

2 tired 2 eat.

I decided this needed my immediate attention, 2 tired 2 eat, never, this chick needed help and fast. I slamed my Wii Fit Aerobics into pause and called her quickly. This crisis had to be averted.

I talked her through the bad times (I started my aerobics back up). I described all the food I was cooking for dinner.
She whinned. She had Andrew come take her socks off.
I told her all about what kind of aerobics I was doing.
She said, "You are not breathing hard enough to be working out."
I said, yes I am. (I had just not made it to the fast pace yet)
She said she wanted to call Kernodle's to come pick up her body, but she couldn't use her fingers, they hurt.
She needs some cheese with her whine.
I was so encouraging, told her I have faith in her, I know she can do it. Hang in there. You will feel so much better when you get used to it.
Then she said a bunch of scientific stuff about why your muscles get sore, blah, blah, blah.
I told her about my "brussel sprouts" that I cooked, which are acutally Asparagus, I apparently can't remember what I am cooking.
She said she was getting hungry, could I bring her something.
Philip, her youngest offered to bring her dinner in bed, she told him she was too tired to eat.

HURRY CALL 911. This is serious.

She's fallen, can't get up and doesn't have one of those thingy's to push!

Send her your encouragements.


Dianne said...


Kaye Butler said...

I am here to encourage you. I've already paid for my one month to the gym and I have to have someone to go with me. Stay strong.

Hit someone later.

Joanna said...

hee hee - sorry for all the pain you've been in. I hear you are a brave soul as you dared to take away a Dr.P. Truly you're living on the edge. I bet that burns calories. Almost getting smacked up side the head will raise your heart beat. :)