Answered prayer

My friend, Claudette, received a liver yesterday. We were afraid she would not live long enough to get one. But some brave family made the ultimate sacrifice and decided to donate their loved ones organs. She received the call about 6 am to go to the hospital. We were all at church and had prayer during opening of morning service. She had been told not to get her hopes up, that it might not be a match. We had sung about a fourth of our opening hymn when her son sent me a text that it was a match! Talk about answered prayers! She came through the surgery and is doing well so far.

FB Peep

One of my facebook friends died today. From cancer. I hadn't known her long. Just since my own diagnosis in January. I will miss her. She knew what I was going through. Knew about being bald. Not being able to get out of bed. Being sick. And tired. And sick and tired of being sick and tired. Hope she enjoys her Christmas with Jesus.

My baby

This is my baby's sr. picture. SIL Kaye did these. Isn't he handsome?

Seasons

It must be fall. There are all these little clues. School has started, you can hear the high school bands practicing, their music wafting on the ever so slightly cooler breezes. There are even football games, high school Friday nights, and taking over the airways the rest of the weekend into the week sometimes. Not here. Fall means sweater weather, crisp mornings, burning leaves. It's gonna be freaking 95 degrees here today and that way for the next week. Lows around 79 or 80. You don't burn leaves, it would just make it hotter. Sweaters? Maybe in December. At least the humidity is not as high. Instead of 95 with heat index of 115, it will feel like the actual temp here now. There are four seasons in Arkansas:
1. Summer
2. Still summer
3. Christmas
4. Almost summer

Yea, I know

I do not know what the deal is with the picture. I tried to make it smaller. I tried to include me and Philip on it. We will just ssay this is in honor of Andrew's 19th birthday which is Friday. Yay, me, for I did all the work. But if you click on my "baby" you can see me and Philip, I am so sporting my Chrome dome!
I was told I do not update enough. My excuse? I have cancer. I use it to try to get out of a whole bunch of stuff. It's starting not to work. Dang. Guess I've milked it for all it was worth (milked, breast cancer, get it?). My hair is coming back. Almost long enough not to wear a wig or do rag. I tried it one day going to Sonic, but the little carhop 'bout dropped our order. I find myself having to go back in the house after a head covering when we are going somewhere because I never wear anthing at home. My hair is coming back WHITE. Kaye says it's gray, I say no, blonde, we compromise that it has chrome highlights. Works for me. At least I have hair again. Still haven't made up my mind about reconstruction. Have pain just from wearing fiberfill prosthesis so I don't think I'm ready for real fake boobies just yet. Big decision. No that was not a boob joke for those of you who know mine were huge. Philip loves to rub my head. So does hubby. They tell me it feels like a build a bear animal.

Headlines

Our local paper had the following headline: PC (which stands for Poinsett County) man dies in shooting". My 13 year old says, "I see the computer guy died". Nuff said.

Chemo update

Sorry I haven't been around much. Chemo has kicked my butt so hard I can't even find it. If there was a side effect, I had it. And some they didn't have, too. One thing they don't tell you and I think it should be MANDATED that they do. It is one of the most terrible side effects ever. YOU CAN NOT EAT CHOCOLATE . And you don't even want it. IT'S NOT FAIR. But I have lost 23 pounds. Haven't weighed in 2 weeks so it could be more. I am not happy.
On the good side, yes, I can still find one, check out my friend at clay and wattles. She is our local mayor's wife and one of the nicest people you will ever meet. She made me some banana bread and it is SO good. Very moist. And it's MINE. I would have posted a pic if I had thought about it, before it disappeared...

Jeremiah 29:11 and other stuff

I thought I had easy trivia, but no, apparently not. Disassemble? NO DISASSEMBLE was from the movie Short Circuit. No winners on the boobies prize. Kaye has seen the prize and can attest to its loveliness. And I even gave the name of the movie in my last post Back to the Future. I mean really people, come on! This one is SIMPLE. Had chemo again yesterday and it started kicking butt on the 100-plus mile drive home. I could barely make it in the house. Hair is almost gone. Thinking about shaving it just to get it over with. If u touch it, it falls out. My oncologist told me yesterday that after 4 rounds of what I am taking now (adriamyicin and cytoxan) I would be changed to a different drug. 80% of people on it have NO SIDE EFFECTS! So I have 2 more treatments before I get to it. Gave away all my bras. Guess Clayton was glad because I stuck them in his clothes so I wouldn't have to look at them. Losing the hair is much harder than I thought. I have probably cried more over that than the boobs. And I have ALWAYS, MY ENTIRE LIFE, threatened to shave my head because my hair was so thin and baby fine. Well, well, just look at me now. I was asked to participate in a clinical trail yesterday. They want me to walk 6000 to 8000 steps a day to see if moderate exercise will improve the outcome of treatment. I said sure, sign me up. Got a free pedometer out of it. Hurt my feelings when, after spending 8 hours at the hospital and walking from one end of creation to the other, I only went 2184 steps. This might be harder than I thought. Because I really have been sedentary since surgery. I attended a cancer survivors dinner a couple of weeks ago and spoke at it. Our local Relay for Life event is this Friday and Saturday, it goes all nite, and I have been asked to speak there, also. So, maybe, God is revealing part of his plan for me. I hope so, because I would really like to know. Philip bought me a "cheering up gift". It was really supposed to be for Mother's day, but he said I needed it now. It is a metal wall hanging with the following inscribed on it, "For I know the plans I have for you, saith the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". Jeremiah 29:11. I think that says it all.

U want what?

Philip asked me to buy him two books. Now what mother could turn down a request to buy her science fair winning, medal receiving for solo performance, child down when they want educational materials? Turns out he really wanted four. One on chickens, ok I get that one. One on bird watching because "I really have always been interested in it". One on CHEMISTRY and lastly, a PHYSICS book. Thinking about changing his name to Albert (einstein, that is). I didn't even know what to say. So I just bought 'em. I don't think we have any bomb supplies around, but I know where there are a LOT of old cars if he is trying to build a time machine to go back to the future.

Continued

I saved this for its' very own post. In my goodie box, there was a homemade card from Joanna's baby. He had drawn a picture of his farm and told me to get better. IS THAT NOT THE SWEETEST THING? HE should get an A for art, an A for compassion, an A in every subject he has, and a vacation day! I keep it handy and look at it often. That simple drawing and sentiment means more than anything Hallmark could ever come up with. Thank you J!

EB

That would be Easter Bunny, the big guy himself. Sent me my very own goody box in the U. S. of snail mail. I was so excited. I knew it would be filled with the goodness of all things chocolate. Now, in this instance, I must say, that I knew this Easter Bunny had a different persona he operated under. Not to give away any secrets or anything, but it would be Joanna from Bugs in my teeth. It was my much anticipated GRAND PRIZE that I had worked so hard to win and I was ready for me some chocolate. But I did not rip into the box. I savored the moment as I knew I would savor the chocolate inside. Course, I had to go to the kitchen and find a knife to cut thru the industrial strength packing tape first. As I sawed thru the massive tape mountains, a delicate scent began to waft from the box. Let's just stop here and take a moment. THE BOX. I have never seen such ingenuity. This child had completely disassembled (disassemble???? NO DISASSEMBLE!!!) a wood fire starter box, turned it inside out, and re taped it to use for shipping. I will pause for you to absorb this or rofl.....Where was I? Oh yes, wafting scent....it was not the mouth watering aroma of chocolate, but a much more delicate, almost powdery fresh scent. I wondered? Does Joanna's house smell this way? And with all those boys, wonder what she uses that works so great. As I pulled open the flaps on the box, I knew that I too could achieve this freshness. It came from the scented tampons included in my prize. (Insert silence, crickets chirping here). I made the mistake of starting to snicker (no there were no snickers) over the thoughts going through my nose and this proved to be a deadly mistake. For you see, I was the recipient of a cruel, cruel, anomaly. The tampon box I received....DID NOT WORK! When my boys heard the laughter and giggles, they of course had to investigate. Now I will admit, this COULD, PERHAPS, MAYBE be just a little my fault. I will admit the only jokes around here being cracked have been cancer ones and some people in the house don't think they are funny.....It's not me...ANYWHO...they came running to see what was going on and immediately zeroed in on my tampon box full of chocolate. I should have taken a picture. The blue and yellow box was defenseless against the invading horde, kinda like when Aunt Flo is giving you a rough one, and paused for nary a second in the quest for absconding with their chocolate of choice before I beat them back with my trusty backscratcher (hey, it was in reach!). I pointed out the first line of defense to the enemies, er, my boys, and told them they were reaching into a tampon box. Andrew's reply? "SO? IT'S CHOCOLATE" You know, that just might be my child. Willing to do just about anything for some good chocolate. Now, let's see who paid attention. To be entered into the drawing for the fabulous fiberfill boobies, find that movie quote and name that movie! By the way, NOBODY has said anything about my new background. And I was so proud (sniff, sniff)...

Hurray for chemo

Got a good report from my surgeons. I am finally well enough for them to make me on appointment with the oncologist. Think about it. How bad is it when a step up is chemo? But that is where I am right now. Just ready to get on with it! I have always wanted to charge in and get things done. At school, if the teacher asked for volunteers, remember those good old days,I was the first one with their hand in the air. Usually the only one. I would get more nervous the longer I had to wait so I just wanted to get mine over with. Same thing. Poor Clayton. He had his bubble burst today. He was under the mistaken impression that the chemo would just be a one time thing. He did not realize it could be a multi month ordeal. The shortest course I personally have heard of anyone taking is 3 months. His cousin had 42 treatments (at a cost of $5600 EACH). But we aren't doing any quotes like "love is never having to say ur sorry". So I am really ready to find out how mine is going to run. Thought we had an appointment tomorrow, there was a cancellation, but dr. decided she would take off. OH WELL. They are trying to get me in Monday. Originally they said April 21 but pushy me, trying to get an earlier appointment!

NOW, just let me say I am sorely disappointed in my two readers. Check the comments on previous post. Do you mean to tell me that y'all just SKIM my post? You don't hang on every word, eagerly anticipating the next word? THEREFORE, i gave a VERY EASY trivia question. You just have to find it...

trivia

For all those, one, maybe two, who are holding their breath and racking their brain to come up with the trivia question answer...Tremors 2. Sorry there were no winners! Oh well, the prize will just keep growing. I can keep stuffing fiberfill into those fake boobies lol. Have a check up Wed. at UAMS. How bad is it when you are hoping that you are well enough for chemo? Chemo would be a step down the road, at least in the right direction, instead of heading backwards. But, GGGEEEZZZ. The bright spot in this would be that we have discovered a good chinese place on Cabot, right outside Little Rock, so I have a date with hubby before appointment, for lunch. We take the good where we can get it, ya know?

Im still here

Havent been online much due to the pain. Joanna, one less thing was Forrest Gump. And winner winner chicken dinner would by Guy Fieria, whose autographed pic I have. Clayton was on Diners, Driveins and Dives.
AND I CANT BELIEVE I WON! Yea for me! Keep waiting for the mailbox to tell me "I got mail". I know it's lame but gotta work with what I got. TOok a shower and found out why the pain is so bad. Incision goes from almost middle of the chest around and under the arm to the backside of the "pits". Yes, it is the pits. Been eating pain meds like m and m's. Stuff aint working. Going to get the drains out Wednesday. THey run from uner the breast, thru chest, down arm almost to elbow. And u can feel them. Feels like a garden hose inside. So glad I can share all this "critical, need to know information". (Joanna I will send u some chocolate if u know what movies that is lol)
Don't y'all love how this rambles around? I may go back and read these sometimes when I am sane, or at least not under the influence. For now I will just thank all my readers for sharing my ride.

BOOBAGE

Kinda like tonage. I pause while you laugh or roll your eyes. I'm just saying...had a double mastectomy on 2-27. Both of them. Now, tomorrow, I go back for revised mastectomies. On both of them. Just how much boobage do you have that you can have double mastectomy done twice? The story of my life. If it can happen, it's gonna happen to me. But seriously, my surgeon was trying to leave my skin for reconstruction. That way I could just get my implants after chemo and not go thru the months of restretching what was already SSSTTTRRREEETTTCCHHHEEEDDD. No, that is not an exaggeration. But do to lack of circulation, the skin has died and now has to be removed. So after this additional surgery, there will be chemo. Then another surgery for the expanders. When that process is over, another surgery to remove expanders and insert implants. Then one more to reconstruct the nipples--which my breast dr. says my plastic surgeon makes beautiful nipples. Just thought that was funny. She says they look much better than the real thing. On the upside, they will put my port in for chemo during this surgery, so, one less thing (joanna--name that movie). Gonna give a shout out to the plastic surgeon. He will only accept cancer survivor patients. Will not do cosmetic surgery on anayone else. Thought that said alot about his character. Alot of people talk the talk but that is an example of walking the walk.

Peeps rock

You have to check out this blog. In addition to being hilariously funny, this has got to be one of the greatest people on the planet. I only know her thru blogging. We have never met or chatted, although we do fb. This person, WHO DOES NOT KNOW ME, took the time to get a card and SNAIL MAIL it to me because she knew what I was going thru. Is that not just AWESOME?! She totally rocks. Sometimes, the people we don't know treat us better than the ones we do...

Time Flies

Gees, looks like I haven't posted in a long time. Guess time flies when ur having.... Have another surgery scheduled for the 18th. The skin my surgeon left for reconstruction has died so it must be removed. Called a revised mastectomy. Oh the joy. They gave me some fiber filled boobies to wear and they are so much fun. My kids say I look weird, ie, they are too big. But actually they look pretty good on my body size. Just not real sure I want some the size of these bad boys. They aren't that much bigger than the ones God gave me, they just stand up and salute. I feel like they are looking at me. Does anybody know what I am talking about? Mine were 48 years old. These are SO NOT. On to other things... My baby won the Northeast Arkansas District Science Fair at Arkansas State University. He was entered in Junior Computer Science (that would be for jr. high school). Yes, I am one proud momma! He developed a video game. What can I say? I told y'all he was smart! Also, the band director was bragging on him, that he could be a professional tuba player and that he wanted him to compete. He only picked up a tuba for the first time in August, and has had no musical training of any kind. Anyone priced a tuba lately? We won't be buying one. They cost more than my biopsies!

D Day

Well, tomorrow is D day. Or maybe I should say D minus day. Having the surgery to remove both breasts. Dread it. Big time. A friend walked up to me in Subway and asked me had I ever seen a mastectomy. I told her no and I was probably more scared of that than anything. She said, "Come on". She took me in the bathroom, AT SUBWAY, and proceeded to show me her mastectomy scar, which was only a couple of months old. I was floored that she would do that. It helped so much. It really wasn't that bad. At least now I'm not afraid to "look". As for the rest, one day at a time...

Plastic Surgeon

Had a pre surgery appointment yesterday. I do NOT understand these people who say they are addicted to plastic surgery. I was not a happy camper. First thing he tells me is he will see me in 4 or 5 months to start the procedures. ProcedureSSSSS? Maybe I'm just naive but first, I thought three months, max, and u go have some new puppies popped in, the end, you are through. OH NO. A month after surgery I start chemo. When that is done, I can go get extenders. For those of you who know all about this feel free to skip ahead. When I get "extenders" I go every week or two and have more saline injected until they get "big enough". At this point he tells me he will have to use the biggest ones they make on me, gee thanks, and that they will hold about a liter of fluid EACH. Holy saltwater batman. Am I gonna slosh when I walk? When they are finally "topped off", I get to set around with those for a couple of months. THen comes the second surgery where these will be removed and the implants put in. And not just implants. CADAVER SKIN. Because my skin will not be thick enough after mastectomy to provide good coverage. eeeewwww. I didn't ask him to make sure it was from a Christian as I wanted all of me going when the rapture happens (I did tell Clayton's surgeon that about his bone graft, though). Figure the boobs will be "left behind" anyway. Anyhoo, wait 4-5 months before getting started, 4-6 months to fill er up, 2 months with full extenders, get implants, and 6 months after that before nipple reconstruction via a skin graft. Once more, eeewww. That sounded painful. And if I want to wear fake ones during all this time, they cost four freaking hundered dollars A PIECE, price does not include pocket bra to keep them in place. If anybody out there has some they aren't using anymore....

Six Truths of Life

Six Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all your top teeth with your tongue.





2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.



3. And discover that the first truth is a lie and feel superior because
they
can do it.



4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.




5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.



6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.



I apologize about this.

I'm an idiot and I needed company ...
And now I know you have a sense of humor and some teeth.

results

I have breast cancer

Long Weekend

How to stretch your weekend to an eternity? Have three breast biopsies done on Thursday and they tell you the results will be back Monday or Tuesday...

Insurance

When Clayton went on long term disability, the price of cobra to continue our insurance was $1400.00 a month. I will wait while u all recover. Needless to say, we did not purchase said insurance. Went to the breast dr. today. He offered to treat me for free. The hospitals he works at however, he said, would not accept me as a patient. So I left with nothing done. Ain't that a kick in the pants? Don't qualify for any time of aid because we make too much. That's a laugh.

Things to do...

In Arkansas during a snow,ice storm. Go outside and try to unscrew the hose from the faucet. This is best performed by the hubby. Break faucet off. Make sure it is almost dark when you do this. Go into bathroom and decide you can fix it by cutting into the bathroom wall. Do it. Go outside in the twilight and sleet/snow, to find correct tools. Using hacksaw, beginning cutting pipe in wall. ELECTRICIY GOES OUT. By this time it is completely dark. And cold. And we are all electric. And I have a hole in my bathroom wall, and a broke pipe, and water cut off...And we can't get out our drive to get stuff to fix it, even if the store is open, because it is solid ice. I didn't even leave footprints.

C

That would be the big C. Doc says both breasts. Going to breast surgeon Monday. I'm waiting on biopsies before I accept it.

Manogram

What can I say? Looking forward to tomorrow. NOT

pics

This is my sister Vivian, we call her BB on the left, me and sis Bev. In the other pic is our mom. Everyone calls her cricket.

SIL Kaye took pics for us Christmas when my other sister was up from Florida. We have not had any family photos made since Easter 19--something. My oldest sister died in 1986 and it was several years before she died, so probably around 1980 or so. Any way, thought I would give y'all a look see.

update

Doctor visit today. Diagnostic mammogram scheduled for Tuesday morning. Job--who cares. Cardiologist visit scheduled for Thursday, but I may cancel it, depending on Tuesday. Dr. says come back to him 24 hours after mammogram for results but that "it has to come out regardless". Lots of blood tests, anemic (well, after all the blood they took), possible b12 deficiency, among other things, will find out later. Just a beautiful day in the neighborhood. On the uupside my husband took me to lunch for Chinese.

Perspective

You can always rely on God to put stuff in perspective for you. Take for instance the previous post where my job was advertised in the paper. No biggy. Doesn't matter. Especially when dr. tells you to find a cancer doctor, hands u a pamhlet, and tells you u need a brain scan...

huh?

AT work this afternoon, we had an influx of people wanting to fill out employment applications. Said there was a job in the paper they wanted to apply for. I bought a paper after work. It was for my job. News to me. What would you do?

work

Tomorrow I get to teach class. An energy conservation class and a budgeting class. Administered thru the ARRA program envoked by our President. HHMMM. They don't give you the material to teach. You are supposed to come up with it by yourself. Yeah right. I could teach dc a thing or two or three about budgeting and energy conservation. Arkansas style.